More Women Cheating In Marriages Today, Study Shows

 

For decades women have worked to end the wage gap – demanding they be paid the same as their male counterpart. But it looks like women are also working on closing another gap of sorts.

The Infidelity Gap.

The number of women being unfaithful in their marriages has risen by 40 percent in the past 20 years, according to a news story reported by the UK’s Daily Mail. According to the story, one in six wives admitted to cheating on their husbands in a study conducted by the National Opinion Research Center on American women.

That means about 14.7 percent of  women cheat in their marriages, compared to the 21 percent of men who cheat. Researchers point to more financially successful women and social media as reasons for the rise in infidelity among married women in America.

To read the full Daily Mail story, go here.

Are you surprised by the study’s findings? Tell us in the comments.

 

 

Grow Goal of the Month – Learning to Encourage Yourself

You’re at that place once again. The place where you sit back and analyze and take inventory of your life.  You think about what you didn’t do, what you could’ve done, what you should’ve done. It’s not a happy place. It’s a place of mourning. Mourning  what could’ve been. What should’ve been. What might have been. But wasn’t.

I would like to introduce you to a new series we’re calling “Grow Goal of the Month.” This is a tool that I hope will help you get beyond that place of regret by doing some inner work.

Here’s how it will work, each month we will introduce a new “Grow Goal” and for an entire month you will REALLY work on that trait. But you won’t have to go at it alone. Grow Women will provide weekly tips on how to achieve victory and we’ll be checking in to see just how well (or not so well) you’ve been doing.

This month’s Grow Goal is “Learning to Encourage Yourself.” We want to help you encourage yourself instead of remaining in discouragement or depending on others for encouragement.

One thing is true.  Where ever you go – you are always there.  That said, it is helpful to instead of always going to other people for encouragement, that you learn to encourage yourself.  Not saying you should never go to others, but start with yourself.

What do you do? Do you continue down that road?

Let’s talk a bit about discouragement. If you continue down that road you risk deepening the state of distress, dismay and soon you’ll be depressed!  It’s totally normal when you experience loss or perceived loss to go through a period of mourning. In spite of that, it’s important not to stay in that place.

It’s not helpful. It’s not productive. It’s draining.  It sucks life out of you and prohibits you from moving forward. It keeps you in victim mode.

To look at discouragement spiritually, it’s the opposite of faith.  You’re walking by sight and not by faith. What’s normally happening, is you’re listening to the enemy of your soul instead of listening to God’s point of view.  You’re viewing your situation from your vantage point instead of God’s vantage point.  The good news is you have total control over that. I am not saying that it is easy.  It is not!  Even so, you can choose to encourage yourself. However, be sure to encourage yourself in the Lord.

Why do I say encourage yourself in the Lord? You encourage yourself in the Lord because you are depending on Him to help you. What is needed is a Power greater than yourself. Because the enemy of your soul is real.  Plus, emotions can be very strong and deceiving.  It’s helpful to bring in the Lover of your Soul’s perspective.

As you work on this month’s Grow Goal keep here are some things to keep in mind:

  1. Recognize that you do have a choice and CHOOSE to encourage yourself.  It is not easy, but it is doable.  One of the best ways to encourage yourself is to read a scripture such as Psalm 59:16 which says But me? I will sing of your strength!  In the morning I will shout out loud about your faithful love because you have been my stronghold, my shelter when I was distraught.  There are other scriptures similar to this.  Google “scriptures to encourage you” and you should find a bevy of them.
  2. STOP feeding discouragement.  Whatever you feed – grows.  If you have a friend that always “goes there” and feeds your negativity – avoid that person until you feel encouraged.  If you have friends on Facebook or any other social media site, avoid reading them or “hide” them.
  3. Pray and cultivate your relationship with God.  If you don’t have a relationship with Him, think about starting one or starting over.  Bask in His love for you and receive his unconditional forgiveness and acceptance.  If you don’t feel His presence or love reach out to someone who may help.  If you don’t know anyone, you can click HERE to schedule a 20 minute test drive and we can discuss further.
  4. Practice being aware of times, people or situations that discourage you.  The first step towards conquering discouragement is recognizing and catching yourself before you start the cycle.  Be aware of your self talk and start telling yourself a different story.

Stay tuned to the Grow Women Facebook Page where we will be checking in each week to see how you’re progressing on this month’s Grow Goal and offering tips on how to successfully encourage yourself. At the end of the month we look forward to hearing from you about what you learned during this process.

Don’t Marry Him If He Cheats

A young woman contemplating marriage wonders, “should I marry him if he cheats”?  Hear my answer in this first series of videos titled “Don’t Marry Him If He Cheats”.

3 Things I Learned From My Daddy

Photo Credit: symphony of love via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: symphony of love via Compfight cc

I read on my son’s Facebook wall that some think Father’s Day was the most hated holiday of all.  That is really unfortunate.  Don’t get me wrong, I am sure that many people have a right to feel this way because of the behavior or lack thereof of some fathers.  However, the cancer of unforgiveness will likely be more detrimental to the person harboring it than the person directed at.

I have many things that I could hate my father for.  In fact, I did for many years.   Despite that, I came to forgive my father for what he did and didn’t do for me.  Through that, I realized that my father taught me many lessons.  These lessons were not taught, but “caught”.  He was a man of few words -at least at home.

The biggest lesson that I caught from my father is humility.  Growing up, he irritated me by always being so lowly.  He always thought of others higher than himself.  I now believe that life had taught him to be humble.  He experienced many devastating things in his life and his reaction was humility.  I am now trying to cultivate that value.

The second biggest lesson is service to others.  I grew up an only child which meant that YES I am spoiled!  I am working through that one too!  Even so, as I was growing up, I observed the many acts of service that my Dad performed on a regular basis.

He (a very short list):

  • Mowed the laws of a few widows in our neighborhood FREE for over 15 years!
  •  Gave the coat off his back for the man of the house of a family who lost everything in a fire and it was snowing at the time.
  • Regularly welcomed complete strangers in need in our home for a meal or even a place to stay temporarily.
  • Started a scholarship fund for incoming freshman attending college.

Believe in Yourself

The third and perhaps the most important is to believe in yourself AND be yourself.  My father was pretty eclectic.  He had some pretty funny peculiarities.  Even so, he did not care what people thought of him and if he had in his mind to do something – he did it!  No matter how ‘out of the norm’ it was.

How about you?  What valuable lessons did your Dad teach you?  Or, if your Dad was not present in your life, what have you learned in spite of that reality?  How has it changed you for the better?  How has it inhibited you – if so – what are you doing to make up for it?  What positive trait did your father figure have in your life?

 

Photo Credit: ClaraDon via Compfight cc

I’m Not Where I Want To Be -but- Thank God I’m Not Where I Used To Be

Photo Credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/7267297@N05/5443748257/">ClaraDon</a> via <a href="http://compfight.com">Compfight</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>

Photo Credit: ClaraDon via Compfight cc

I walked in the house with excited anticipation.  After all, it had been TWO YEARS since I set foot in my Mama’s house.  The house that shaped me, made me, LOVED me!  I was met with ALL my favorite foods.  I squealed with delight.  The look on my Mamas face was one of pure joy as she loved to love on me.  And her way of doing so is food!!

As I made my way through the country themed kitchen into the den, I stopped to see the shrine that my Mama had made of her grands and me!  It’s almost embarrassing – the number of pictures of me.  But I have to understand – I’m my Mama’s only child.

I journeyed down the tan wall paneled hallway into the bedroom that held most of my stuff from high school.  My Mama had long since turned my bedroom into her bedroom.  But, there I was with all my old stuff!

And.

I.

Cried like a baby!!

I didn’t realize HOW MUCH I missed home!  Home was where I birthed my dreams of how my life was supposed to turn out.  I had realized much of those dreams, but a huge part was missing!

I never planned on the hard parts.  The marathon of suffering that I was enduring.  The pain and suffering of life.

But.

To my surprise, I experienced a new birth of such.  First, I vowed that I would never stay away from home that long again.  Next, I remembered those dreams.  Dreams that I would do great things in my life.  That moment propelled me to this moment.  It wasn’t instantaneous, but I was a a fork in the road.  I took a slight turn.  Dusted off my dreams and recommitted to them.

That slight turn eventually led me to where I am today!

As we just celebrated Memorial Day, which is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces.  It’s possible you heard things like:

  • We will never forget
  • I belong to America
  • I won’t forget the men who died
  • Who kept the faith and fought the fight; The glory theirs, the duty ours.

You have a duty to yourself to remember your own dreams.  Your own purpose.  You belong to God who created you for a purpose.  You have a responsibility to find that purpose, develop what you need to live it, and finally fulfill it!

Fight the good fight of Faith.  Don’t give up.  Keep going.  Keep searching.  Chances are when you seek it – you will find it when you search with all of your heart!

Peace & Joy!

 

Still I Rise – Encouragement Quotes

Don’t you dare let anyone or anything stop you from moving forward!  There are those who will “try” to tear you down.  There are those who will build you up.

Don’t you dare let anyone or anything stop you from moving forward!

You have two doors:

Door #1 – Listen to the naysayers and stay in the place you don’t want to be.

Door #2 – Listen to the One who is calling you from the deep.  The lover of your soul.  Your first Love.

Which door will you open?

If you open Door #1, you open the door to despair, doubt and depression.

If you open Door #2, you open the door to hope, faith and joy.

It’s your choice!!

If you just happened to stumble upon this post and the words resonated with you, then I invite you to get updates of new posts --> Click here to subscribe to my Grow Girl Tips.  I keep secrets and will never share your information.

Peace & Joy!

Signature

 

Happy Mothers Day!

Happy Mothers Day!

Happy Mothers DayWhether you birthed them or not, if you are a Mom to any child that needs you, thank you for all that you do!

God blessed me with four wonderful children!  They challenge me everyday to be the best “me” I can be!  Likewise, my own mother taught me what unconditional love is!

What’s the most valuable lesson your Mom taught you?

May you have a blessed day!

 

Discarded But Revived

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I was led to turn my plant in my office around. You see this plant had been neglected and sat on the side of my house for many years. It had been there so long that it had fallen over and the roots were growing in the ground!  This plant remained alive despite the conditions of weather.  In season and out of season this plant continued to grow! It grew by any means necessary.  Bent over.  Surviving only on the sun and rain that God provided.  It grew where it was planted.

When I moved into my new office I needed some plants and since the budget was tight, I decided to use the neglected plant on the side of my house. I had already made the choice that every plant in my office would be alive.  No dead things allowed!

My son and I set the plant upright, trimmed the roots and trimmed all of the wild branches.  When I thought it was safe to move to my office no sooner than I got it there an office neighbor noticed that it had an infestation of bugs!  Needless to say, I had to treat my tree for a few months and it finally started to grow. I had it shaped and placed it prominently in the corner and it became a focal piece in my office.

After a while, I noticed that while the plant looked pretty from the front, the backside was not growing. Next, I purchased a tree light with the hopes that if the plant got light from the behind – it will grow.

Still no growth.

180-Degree Turn

It wasn’t until I did a 180-degree turn with the plant that I observed that there were some dead branches just living there amongst all the living branches. After clipping the dead branches, within less than 24-hours, to my surprise “my plant” started looking healthier.

Sometimes we are much like my plant.  Discarded and left on the side of the house, diseased and only living on natural elements.

Until…

Someone notices the potential of beauty.  Cleans you up.  Shapes you.  Repurposes you.

The work doesn’t stop there.   You may need to some treatment from His Word.  You may need to turn around.  Allow your branches to be pruned so that you can grow.  This is when God can continue his beauty work in you!  In season.  Out of season.  Bent over.  Allow God to shine his love on you and continue to grow where he’s planted you!

Peace & Joy!

My 7 Core Beliefs

 

What I Believe

I’ve done a lot of living in my getting near 50 years on this earth.  During that time, I’ve come to know some things in my heart about myself, other people and how I view life.  Going forward, I thought I’d share with you my point of view.  I learned a lot about that this past weekend at Suzanne Evan’s Be The Change Event.  It was quite an experience!

Below is what I truly believe.

 

  1. I am a business person who just happens to be Christian!

 

  1. I am hopelessly optimistic!

 

  1. I believe in living boldly and fearlessly!  Living fearlessly doesn’t mean that you live without fear – au contraire – it means that you do it afraid!

 

  1. I believe that beauty can come out of pain if you look for it – wholeheartedly – and IF you forgive!

 

  1. I choose to believe that most people really are doing the best that they can with what they have at the time.  We are all a work in progress.

 

  1. I don’t accept the mantra “that’s just the way that I am”!!  If you know that a part of you stinks then it is your responsibility to yourself, the people you love and the people that love you to DO SOMETHING POSITIVE ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!

  2. I believe that you should NEVER stop growing and the day that you do you begin a slow spiritual death.

 

It’s All About Choice

My Daddy and Me

My Daddy and Me

 

One year ago last week God came to get my father. We’d suffered with Alzheimer’s for over 13 years. If there is any beauty in Alzheimer’s it’s the fact that you get the opportunity to work out every conflict; every angry feeling; every issue that I had with him while he was still here.  You get the opportunity to forgive while they are still living.

So when he left this Earth, I experienced a feeling of joy. I considered it a gift from God that my Daddy left on Easter Sunday.

It is very strange that I had peace in my heart even though I loved my Daddy dearly.  I was thankful that I did not have to see him suffer anymore and I am sure that I will see him again one day.

Which brings me to this question for you.  Who is it in your past, including childhood, that you still need to forgive?  You may have even buried it within your heart, but believe me, if you buried it alive…..it’s STILL alive!!  The longer you keep it there, the more it grows and becomes more entrenched.

You CAN do something about it.  You are NOT powerless.  You can CHOOSE!

Oftentimes, people get it twisted about forgiveness.  Forgiveness is to grant free pardon to an offense or debt.  It is a choice.  It does NOT mean:

  • Forgetting – obviously unless you have amnesia it is sometimes hard to “unknow” something that happened.  The power is in what you choose to do with that “knowing”.
  • No consequences – just because you forgive someone DOES NOT mean that they still don’t bear the full responsibility of the consequences.
  • Pretending – similar to forgetting, you have to “do something” if an offense has occurred.  That doing something can be doing something positive like verbalizing the fact that the offense occurred and it is unacceptable.  What the other person does is up to them.
  • There’s no grief over it – we all have to go through a process to heal from hurt.  I believe that it is good to do all you can within your own power to start that process as soon as you can.  I believe that you make it harder on yourself to delay it.
  • Automatic trust – trust is earned.  Once trust is broken, it is a process to earn again.  Not impossible, however, the offender must earn the trust based on the offended terms not their own terms.

“Choose” to do yourself a favor.  Forgive!  Reminds me of a quote that I think about sometimes.

“When I came to the point of forgiveness, I realized I set a prisoner free.  The more I thought about it, I realized the prisoner was me.”  ~ Smead